Sick, tears and chocolate.

Oh boy, is it over yet?  Winter I mean, I think.

Im sat here being a total miserable guts because I am ill. We caught the dreaded sickness bug one by one. Well all of us apart from my “invincible partner” who never seems to get anything (that he will admit) and is tough as nails. 

Maybe one day he can even read this post and feel good about himself for 5 minutes. I doubt it, but if he does, he should know that we think hes great (most of the time).

Anyway, annoyingly we all caught the sick. My eldest started it on Monday being sick every 30 minutes through the night, my youngest then followed 1 or 2 days later and of course I got it just as I was due to return to work. This happened the same night that I thought my youngest was over it and we inevitably ended up sharing a sick bucket. Moping up the kids sick was barely cope able, especially when it was on the sofa, or the carpet or my bed. However cleaning up my own sick at the same time was heinous. 

It would be ideal to have someone else there to help look after you while you look after this kids, however this would inevitably lead to another person worth of sickness. Probably not worth it, but maybe?

Anyway the sheer volume of fluids coming out of these wee guys was literally unreal. I couldn’t believe it and am extremely grateful that they have better aim into buckets with spew than they do with the loo and having a wee. My eldest was the first to feel better naturally and didn’t really let it show. He casually just slipped a prank into our days and became gradually louder. 

My youngest however of course was feeling better more dramatically. He had a full night of screaming and shouting about sore legs, arms, neck, you name it- it was sore. The following day he awoke slightly bigger and speaking as though he had learned a new language. Of course he couldn’t just be ill, he must have the biggest growth spurt ever to finish it all off. 

How did I know he had recovered? Walking into the kitchen on Friday morning I saw a box of chocolates ripped apart. My first assumption was that the cats had found them in the middle of the night and invited a wolf into the house to share, but of course no. I asked if this was his doing? his reply, with so much confidence and annoyance; “I only had one!” 

(In my mind) “OK proud sir, since you have grown, you must eat only one of the grown up chocolates! “

Order has been restored and the master is back on his perch. 

Now previous to this is as my 2 kids were feeling like a death, I made some decisions which made me realize I was no better than a street rat. I say that in a general term, of standards. (you will understand why in a moment)

As I am watching these kids struggling to keep water down, I decide that this will also inevitably become my fate too and decide that I will eat the equivalent of the 2 days I am about to lose. Chocolate, crisps and all the nice things I will miss. Was there a proper meal in sight? Never! It would be a waste. literal street rat. Did I hide from the kids? Nope… I knew they wouldn’t ask for a bit. Freedom to eat whatever the hell i wanted judgement free, well, that is until now. Thinking about it, I am judging me. Was it my finest moment? Most definitely not. Am i bothered? Also evidently not.        ffs. 

“I am in the process of becoming the best version of myself” 

This quote felt rather apt, mostly because I opened a little book that had this in it, as well as a note saying “To mum I love you” 

It also made me laugh and be thankful, that this is not the best version of myself, there is some hope after all.  

Another highlight of this last few weeks has been watching my Gran build her ideal home. Not from scratch but filling her home with things that are ideal for her. You would not believe what this woman can do with space. A one bedroom bungalow and one of the rooms contains a greenhouse. Take a guess at which one, chances are its not where you think, but if you know her you wont even be shocked. She is fabulously brilliant. we dismantled a craft unit we had built not to long ago, so that it would fit inside another one. Why? because can you really ever have enough craft storage? probably not, and I don’t know if we will ever have enough for every project she has, however she was delighted with the new arrangement of the unit and so was I. We had a fabulous night and laughed so much (mostly from being overtired, but who cares). 

” If it was any better, it would be nae use!”  Sheer and utter gratitude and more than enough to make my week. 

We miss my papa more than I could ever have imagined. thats it. Theres no real bright side to that. Sorry. 

There can often be a bright side to the tears that are shed, and act at least as a small condolence to know the love of someone so amazing. 

This is also transferable. I have a friend who adores marvel. So much so, that every time they kill a character I could flood a small nation with the tears. She is also a fabulous person, so great that most don’t deserve her. Whats worst is she barely remembers this, but she makes my day so often. In fact the other night we had a movie night and watched the new Spiderman. She hadn’t seen it and of course bawled through pretty much all of it. I spent my night watching her reactions, not that the movie wasn’t amazing, (I really did love it) but the fake tan that she had hastily put on before a planned ” good weekend” poured new streams of brown down her face and neck. I don’t think she would thank me if I posted a picture, but it really was fucked.  

I don’t know where we would be in life without all of the quirky folks we have around us. I pretty sure everyone has their weirdness, it just takes the right folk to bring it to the surface. 

I hope this next week consists of less sick, but just the same amount of chill, I would very much appreciate that.