There has been so many moments of sheer joy and happiness in life, especially since I have had my kids. They are fabulous, truly unique little men and I wouldn’t change them for the world.
There have also been moments where I have thought “what the hell is actually going on.” You know those moments when little flashes of people telling you how cute your kids are and how lucky I am. This I have absolutely no doubt about, however there is some times when I wish I could do things on my own.
These moments act as a pre-warning for others thinking that having kids is easy and glamorous.
So once again pre-warning if you are having a kid or two or know someone in love with the idea, then skip past this part.
Everything crap happens in Tesco.
I had been having a rough week, nothing too bad, but enough to make me live on the edge of tears every five minutes. I needed to go shopping and decided that I would take the kids to the cafe before hand to fill their tummies enough to hopefully ensure a moan free wander around the shop. It was going well. I even decided that we would use the “scan and go” service so that by the time we got to the checkout (where meltdowns often occur) that it would be quick and easy. We made it through most isles, the kids scanning each item as we went and only fighting when they weren’t holding the little scan machine.
We get to the checkouts, register the device ready to pay however a Tesco worker came to me and said he needed to scan a few items as it was our first time in the store. I said “really? that is fine, but we shop here all the time?” he said it was procedure blah blah and carried on picking up random items to scan. ” 2 more items left” he says before he blurts out “uh oh, Im so sorry”.
Now by this time, my kids are already trying to run out the shop and creating havoc as predicted when I first walked through those shady doors. “Erm, one of your items has scanned a QR code instead of the barcode, Im going to have to scan everything” totally defeating the quick checkout idea.
Ah crap. At this point im ready to ditch the whole £80 worth of shopping and go home, if it weren’t for the fact that I would have to re-do it later that day anyway so we could eat. So I let him proceed. My youngest is already miles down the store sitting on a bench and my eldest is up my ass, telling me hes hungry. I go and get the smallest child and bring him next to me, trying not to be that meltdown mum in the shop, as we empty everything onto the smallest counter of shame in the middle of the store. 5 minutes pass and we are through one bag.
My youngest has once again tried to leg it and is wearing his jacket as a cape with arms entangled in between. I ask my eldest to go and retrieve him and encourage this guy a faster way to get out of the hell hole that is Tesco. On his mission to retrieve his little brother, my eldest is winning, up until my youngest trips and falls over thin air. His head bounces off the floor like a basketball and my eldest bursts into tears for fear of hurting his brother. My youngest quickly follows suit and is howling, and just for added dramatic effect I join the pity party and let the tears pour. I pick up my kids and return to this gent who manages to finish scanning our crap, finally. I pay and we waddle out the shop mutter words of never returning and slunk into the car for a cuddle.
Crap always happens in Tesco. If you must shop, do it alone. Always.
Its not all that bad, but that was a great start to a week. It got better and we had a Halloween party to go to, which was great! I had made the kids their costumes they wanted (a shark and a scuba diver) and they were buzzing, until we arrived at the party and within 5 minutes told me they want to go home. (they are more like me than I thought)
My youngest wouldn’t leave our side until he took his costume off, and then had his dad drive home to get his Mr Incredible outfit that he wears almost every day of the week. It really didn’t matter that I had spent 3 days stitching his shark costume, because he would no longer try to climb back inside of me and would dance with the other kids, along as he was Mr Incredible.
Is it really any wonder my hair is disappearing again.. not at all. (stay tuned for hair update pics, where I begin to look like a potato again) A bigger mystery is how we are in November of this year already and planning Christmas. I cant wait to be bald for the coldest season of the year. I feel like it might actually become a tradition.
We have spent a lot of this past week and a half decorating my grans new place, painting absolutely everything at all times of the day in between work, school runs and extra activities. She cant stay at the Croft where she has been for the past 18 or so years with my papa. He fixed everything, in fact he built the place and was the only guy who knew how everything worked. Since hes been gone, its all falling to bits around us. He taught us how to fix washing machines,sewing machines, cookers and how to do DIY plumbing and electrics, but nothing to the scale of what we need for my Gran to live in now. I have promised that if she must move, then it shall be a palace, like she deserves. Im not even convinced it will be close to a palace, but it will be a beautiful home for her, and a place for us to pester the crap out of her and fix our problems. I don’t think any of us are completely excited, as it seems so bitter sweet, but it is definitely the next step.
Other achievements this week include, driving to Aberdeen with only 1 comment about my driving, watching the fireworks with friends, cuddling puppies, dodging chicken pox, cuddling twins, replying to most text messages and sewing an advent calender that counts almost all the way to Christmas.
Not everything has to be huge thing to be an achievement. Surviving is sometimes the best you can muster and that is great. Even if its done through floods of tears and aching hearts.
Its not terrible to be sad, its just part of being alive.
I have these people in my life that I call Jems, mostly because they are like shining stars in darkness, they are tough and don’t break. oh and they are hard to find, not hard to keep, but still, don’t let them go.
My jem friends that are far away and localish tend to message at the most random times and don’t mind if you don’t reply, or if a conversation takes days. The few I have locally and see often are fabulous on a day of crap, or any day really. They make the sun come out and most of the time don’t even realize how special they are. For my friends who brighten the days and bring back my sanity, Thank you. Id love to offer more, but really nothing would add up to what you deserve.
Now I write these soppy moments because my memory is shocking, and if its not written then it didnt happen. Also personal reminder to yourself, capture the memories in whatever manner you can, once they are gone, thats it. Also its a decent laugh to read back on your own thoughts and decide whether you were more a twat before or are an even bigger one now.
I hope the rest of your week goes well, and if its been crap so far (thats a tought one,its only Monday) I hope it genuinley gets better.
P.S : Dont ever say it cant get any worse. It can and it might. Pray it wont.