Times are becoming rather blurry, and once you get into a slump, it becomes rather comfortable to stay there. The effort to have energy and participate in regular life is missing more than ever, but life still goes on.
My memory of the past few weeks are honestly ridiculous, there is nothing there. General blurs and ideas of what has went on through pictures. Disassociating at its finest. Its fine though, the world keeps on spinning, work continues and kids clubs and activities never get canceled. Im pretty sure im not the only one who gets slightly buzzing when an after school club is canceled and you can chuck your pyjamas on as soon as you have done the school run (possibly before? do as you wish im not judging)
There must be a fine line that exists where you kids don’t attend a million groups a week and are burnt out, but they also learn loads of skills and socialize enough to be capable adults. Also on top of that parents don’t get the mum guilt… (Im saying parents, because i actually have no idea if Dads get the mum guilt too or even to the extent that a mother does. )
Pretty sure that line doesn’t exist, but we can always strive for greatness and peace.
Mum guilt took over my life at one point, as it does with us all. The moment I found out I was pregnant with my second baby, it set in like a melting candle. I felt the guilt of taking time away from my beautiful first baby, who was already 2 and half by then and very capable. I felt the guilt when I couldn’t go swimming because my swimsuit was too small, or when I couldn’t keep up with him in the park. I went into labor at 11pm at night and lay in a bath on my own until 5am, so that I could say goodbyes to my eldest before bring his new baby brother home. (This didn’t happen, because I stood up in the bath and gravity took hold).
When we did have to leave before my son woke, I was so angry at myself for not holding on longer. Thinking about it now, it seems totally ridiculous because it is. As a mum, this is what we do to ourselves. We manage to convince ourselves that these miniscule parts of life are the most important, when essentially its not these parts that anyone else remembers.
Chances are, these things we feel guilty about are not going to become defining moments in life for anyone.
Now I am actually rambling nonsense. Common problem here, I go on tangents with things and forget to stop. Currently I am on a sewing one. My bedroom has become my studio and I am making anything and everything I can think of. I have no idea what I will do with any of it really, but im having
Unfortunately im also ignoring almost everything else, not exactly on purpose either. So here is my apology to all my group chats and anyone who has attempted a conversation anytime in the past month and for the foreseeable. May the odds be ever in your favor.
Also I would love to tell you more, but as I mentioned before, my brain is on strike this week…
Im probably not going to be a great friend for a while, but I will try, as much as possible, which is probably still not a lot.
Anyway, this month has been a bit plum, my Gran finally moved and im super proud of her, (shes an amazing woman normally anyway) even if we are all still rather devastated.
Being happy all the time is overrated, and no one needs to be afraid to be sad. Is it possible to enjoy sadness?
Congratulations you made it to the end! and as a reward if you have managed to reach the end of this plum post for a plum month, here is a joke..
whats the difference between a sweet potato fresh out the oven and a pig thrown off a balcony?
One is a heated yam and the other is a yeeted ham..
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Have a less plum (or plum less) day tomorrow!
Also side note, the cat is having more kittens…