School is back and we’re into the full swing of it all again. The tiredness is creeping up on us again and I am walking around like a zombie whilst the kids are becoming more and more feral by the day. So much so that when we go shopping our greetings consist of the ever helpful, “you’ve got your hands full” and as we leave the shops, its “good luck” instead of goodbyes.
It’s becoming our normal that we are often looked at for being odd and I notice it a lot less. My partner suggested we go for a walk and my son tried out his new scooter, which of course I think “yeah sounds good”. He also suggests that I ride my eldest scooter to join him. I don’t think much of it until we ride past a group of teenagers at the shop who shoot some disgusted and confused looks as to what I am doing. Luckily I am past the point of caring and whizz past like a bat out of hell to beat my child to the end of the road.
Of course he still beats me.
It’s been a strange few weeks with contemplations of another lockdown due to rising cases so we made the most out of my son’s birthday in case it’s the last celebration for a while. It’s sort of a tradition in our family to make a birthday last a week. This was done by a fabulous day out to Blair Drummond safari on Sunday, a mini party with friends on Monday and a family gathering on Tuesday. Not quite a week, more like a 3 day bender and of course, my house will never look the same again. We must rip the arse out of everything, is the new family motto.
Also if you’re ever looking for some top buys for kids birthdays here’s a few of the kids favorites.
Personalized cake topper (icing)
Amazon Avengers decorating bundle This includes balloons and cake toppers, as well as character balloons which were pretty much an extra toy for the kids!
Hobby craft cardboard shop(There is other options, including a castle and playhouse.)
I also decided to go dress shopping online, for fun, which isn’t really my idea of fun but I was encouraged by a friend. I’m a cheapskate when it comes to clothes and outfits because chances are, they will end up ruined within the first few wears. I filled loads of baskets online and then promptly logged out of each website before I eventually settled on a dress. I didn’t blow a fortune on it as expected and almost gave myself a challenge, that if I could make a dress that had cost me a fiver look good then I could call myself a fashionista.. Or something to that effect. Anyway, I only bothered because I had been given so many outfit options from some really fashionable folks, in fact so much choice that I couldn’t settle on one. (surprise, surprise, I can’t make a decision.) Anyway, because of the support and encouragement of so many different friends, I was able to be confident enough to convince myself I don’t care what I look like. This literally only happened because of multiple minor interactions with people saying kind things. For example, my hairdresser managed to convince me that all would be fine and I would enjoy myself.
I know it sounds totally ridiculous, a whole day child free and partying at a wedding without a care in the world, and I would still need so much encouragement to go. It sounds shocking to not want to watch friends be married, but in essence that’s not the problem. I am. But that’s ok, I have people who have my back and if you don’t have people, I encourage you to try your utmost to find them, they are gold.
I’ve recently found some treasures with being a boy mum. I never realized when I became a mum that being a parent to boys is like running a never ending marathon and instead of getting water at moments throughout, there’s kids throwing snails and dirt at you and you still have to try your best to smile through the whole damn thing.
Just some examples of the ridiculous conversations: (and these are by far, not the worst)
Youngest asleep in my bed: “mum, are these the fastest shoes in the world?”
Me: Yes.
Child goes back to sleep, wakes up in the morning and puts on “the fastest shoes in the world” and says, “told you so mum”.
Me: “Your behavior is not acceptable, you need to use your listening ears.”
Small child: “roaaaaaar” loudly in my face.
Small child flicking through a magazine “Mum, I’m going to let you buy me this”
Me: “how kind of you?!?”
5 minutes later. small child : “You are the meanest girl ever” with sheer disgust.
Small child delicately holding a large flower: “Mum, will you marry me?”
Me: “ aww how sweet..” Before I get a chance to answer..
Big child: “ No! That’s not fair, I’m the oldest so I get to marry mummy!”
Me: proceeds to explain why they can’t marry mummy and breaks their hearts. They then leg it in opposite directions still arguing about marriage.
Now most of these conversations are tame and comical, Luckily. However, I had one of the most embarrassing moments of my life the other day. We were in Tesco (surprise,surprise) and an old teacher of mine spoke to us in the shop. He was one of the most feared teachers in school because if you ballsed up he would make you run laps, a lot. Also he was loud and everyone knew if you had a bollocking from him. Pretty sure kids in other schools were scared of him. Anyway the conversation went something like this:
Teacher: “Oh wow, there’s no mistaking who your daddy is!” Small child looking bewildered and confused. “ I know you daddy and who your uncles are”
Small child with the most serious and deadly look on his face. “Don’t you talk to me like that!”
Now writing it, it doesn’t sound totally ridiculous, however my chin hit the floor in the aisle and I was low key proud of how ballsy this kid is and also rather scared. Luckily the ex-teacher is actually a great guy and chuckled, almost confirming the heckling of how his daddy was similar in school. Pretty sure he’s grateful he won’t have to teach my kids at school.
Still not the worst interaction I have had in a shop and I’m pretty sure there’s others with worse than this, or at least I hope there is.
There’s a reason kids are cute. It means that all the infuriating and ridiculous things that come out their mouths fade away when you see them smile. If it weren’t for cuteness the population of the world would be a lot less I imagine.
We’re all just winging it. I promise.
